Fear

I’m not sure that the only thing that we have to fear is fear itself. You may ask what I mean by this. I think that what people are really afraid of is not knowing. Even the people who say that they are fine with not knowing, may fool themselves. This thought of fear came to my mind this morning at 6:24 am or so.

I got up early this morning to hit up some snowboarding action behind the student parking lot. I was the only one out there, and the snow was rather icy from melting all day the day before and then freezing over night. And even though I have been boarding since I was in 7th grade a great sense of fear came over me. Why? What was I so afraid of? Sure it was a bit icy, but that had never stopped me before. I think that I was afraid because I did not know what was on the other side of the jump. How steep the trail was. I was unfamiliar with my surroundings. This was a type of environment that I had never tried to board in before. It makes me wonder why that people can be so scared of what is “new” or “unfamiliar” to them.

I think that most people are content to leave life the way that it is, for as long as possible. Anything else outside that world that they know is scary and strange. So we leave things the way they are to prevent ourselves from being hurt physically, emotionally, relationally, or even spiritually. I don’t want the unknown to hold me back.

I’ve been learning a lot of what it means to give up everything to God. That includes the future that He has for me. I had a plan, but that plan seems to be falling out and now all I am left to do is to sit and wait on Him. I’m not sure what I’m going to do with my future. It’s messy and foggy and nothing seems to fit. And its ok. I’m continued to be reminded that God is bigger than 36,000 dollars. That He is sufficient and wants the absolute best for me, and will bring me there. He is bigger than my plans, my dreams, and my attempts to do things my way. And even though I’m about to make my way into unfamiliar territory, I find myself being less and less afraid and being filled with excitement.

I don’t want to leave Ravencrest Chalet, but God has something big for me around the next corner. Even though the ground feels icy, and a bad fall could seriously hurt me, I’m feeling at peace. I may only be rambling about nothing at all of importance to anyone, but I guess I just have a lot on my mind. I guess that my point is, I’m not afraid anymore.