Today I went grocery shopping for my mother. I normal don’t go grocery shopping at all when I live at home, but we didn’t have any more food in the house, it was close to dinner time, and mom was still working. So I took it upon myself to go and purchase some food, so that we might be able to eat dinner tonight. I also took it upon myself to bring my little brother with me. And from my trip to the grocery store I have learned three very important lessons.
1) When I am a mom, I shall do everything in my power to NOT bring my children to the grocery store with me. My brother is 11 years old now, so he is nearing the tail end of the obnoxious child stage and entering the phase of obnoxious pre-teen stage. While the obnoxious pre-teen stage is more obnoxious in the home, the obnoxious child stage is horrifically obnoxious when said child is at the grocery store. My brother displayed the later obnoxiousness symptoms this afternoon by blocking alles with the cart, riding the cart like a scooter (which I will admit to doing in my obnoxious child phase), asking if we can buy everything except what I was requested to purchase, and almost hitting an old woman-twice. However, since my brother is in the late stages of his child obnoxioussity, these acts that were preformed were only mild of what I think they could have been. I think there should be a sign on the door of Vons that reads “children under the age of 15 are one permitted ever.”
2)The grocery store is meant to confuse the shopper by any means possible. Every single grocery store I go into is set up differently. Even if the store is under the same company. The Stater Brothers on Collins and Tustin is not at all the same as the one on Tustin and Santa Clara. Even the ATM is on the opposite side of the store. The reason for this pattern of unsameness is to cause the shopper to be unaccustomed to where whatever it is that they have come in to buy is. This then causes the shopper to stay longer, see more products, and fall into the trap of buying another carton of milk or jar of penutbutter. The way to avoid this is the grocery list. In the grocery store, the grocery list becomes the shopper’s bible. It tells you the truth of what is in your home and what you need to leave with. Stick to the list and you shall never fall into the trap of accidentally buying two extra cans of tuna that you did not need.
3)4:45 is a bad time to go grocery shopping. It’s not the amount of people in the store, or the lines at the checkout. What makes 4:45 a bad time is the free sample people. About an hour before dinner, they assume that you don’t have anything planned for dinner so they offer you a taste of whatever it is they want you to buy and make for dinner. And they always stand right by the meat section. Right where I needed to go and grab some chicken breast. As I’m browsing the wall of packaged meat, they come up to me and ask me all sorts of questions. All I wanted to do was get some chicken. “Please spicy meat sales man-please let me take my chicken and go in peace. You scare me a little, and my slightly still obnoxious brother almost hit that old lady. I’m sorry, but I can’t try a bite, of what you wish to sell me.”
